SUNDAY FROM HELL

Connecting with people is not my strong suit. Actually I struggle with it. I don’t really have a reason for it. I don’t have a tragedy to tell you that gives me a reason to be so cold. I just am. If I took a guess I would have to say it’s from years of taking ADHD medicine it kind of just eats away at your personality until your left with none. By the time you realize this is happening, though, it’s too late and you’re already dependent on the medicine. Maybe this is true, maybe I made up to justify my coldness. I’m not sure what’s true was I born like this, or is this the result of medicine? I don’t think I will ever have an answer to that.

This morning was bad. I just stood there and watched as she turned into a beast. I couldn't help but stare. We all have had impulses to do what she did, she just actually did it. It was a reaction years in the making. A reaction to me, and I just watched. I didn't feel scared, pleased, angry, threatened… I didn't feel anything. Why didn't I feel anything? I should have felt something!

 This morning after breakfast, in her thick Mexican accent she told me to “Go clean the vacuum.” This being a task new to me I asked for help. I wasn't sure what she meant.  Did she want me to clean the bottom of it? Did she want me to dust it? She responded to my question by telling me that there was a clear section of the vacuum that can be taken out and I needed to empty it. She also mentioned that there were instructions written on the vacuum. I went into the closet I looked at the vacuum and noticed that there was a button that when you push it a part of the vacuum popped out. It was the clear part of the vacuum. I look on it for instructions and all I see is ßLOCK-OPENà So I try to twist it and nothing is happening so I walk towards her and ask for help.

 “No, figure it out” she responds the first time. I ask again “I figured it out in like 6 seconds” she responds the second time, and the third. I try it again. Nothing. I decide if she’s not going to help me I’ll give up so I attempt to put the vacuum back together. 

“NO” she shouts.

I responded with “I can’t figure it out and if you’re not going to help me…”  

She still didn't want to help me but she still wanted me to do it. Because yeah that makes sense -________-  

Finally after I start yelling saying “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS” and aggressively trying to twist the top off she grabs it from my hands and twists it off. She gives me a smirk and hands it back to me. I walk it over to the garbage can and begin cleaning the filter. She then starts another fight. 

Are you rolling your eyes? Because I am…

She then calls to me from down the hall “ I need you to clean the bathroom.”

“OK.” I responded while cleaning the vacuum.

“Now! Not 30 minutes from now not an hour from now not a week from now. NOW” she added.

Did you not hear me? I just said ok. You do know that means ‘I will’ right? “OK” I said my voice gained a little aggression.

“I asked you to do it a week ago.”

“I was sick” I responded

“not when I asked you to clean it” she said.

“Yes I was I have been since last weekend” I should have said. Instead I yelled “I’M SORRY IF ME BEING SICK WASN'T CONVENIENT FOR YOU!”

That was it. That was the conversation that sent her over the edge. The next thing I know was that she threw the broom in my direction. I think it broke which was her last straw, because she threw the bristle part first and then the handle. I just stood at the garbage can cleaning the filter watching this all happen. She then ran at a plant and started ripping leaves off and tearing the plant apart. She then looked at me and said “I'm leaving!”

The end…

Just kidding there's more, shes a drama queen of course there is more.

She was back within 10 minutes at which point I was now working on cleaning the bathroom.  I was listening to music when my dad came in the bathroom and took my phone away and started yelling at me. He asked me what happened and I told him. He was pissed. I didn't get it she went crazy how is that my fault? I continue to clean the bathroom and my step mom packed a bag. She told me she would come back when I left for college.

“Then I will leave! Clearly I’m not wanted.” I Replied. My dad stood there not a single word left his mouth. At least she said no.

She left once she cleaned the mess she created. My dad yelled at me for a little bit, and then gave me the silent treatment. He blamed me, I could tell. So finally I spoke up.

“You might yell at me for saying this, or say it’s not true but it is and you need to hear it” after a short pause “but, you like her more than you like me”

“That’s not true,” he began.

“Yeah it is!” I said and turned the corner into a space where I could still hear him and he knew that but he said nothing. 

About 20 minutes he came up to me again. “I love you both its just different.” I looked at him. “I don’t connect with you, you don’t show me any emotion, and you are hard to love.”

“So I am a robot” I walked away tears falling down my face I dropped my body onto my bed and cried into my pillow. Very robot of me. 

He followed me in and he criticized me. He didn't walk over to me and give me a hug, or say I’m sorry, he just criticized me. He tried to justify his comment. The words he let out at this point weren't for me. He was trying to make himself feel better. He just told his only daughter that he liked his second wife better than his blood.

HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO ACT? PLEASE TELL ME AN APPROPRIATE REACTION! 

Flash forward to 7 pm she’s back. Like I said she’s a fucking drama queen life was probably just getting a little boring and she needed a little more attention.

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sorry about the long post today i just had a lot to get out. I was pretty heated while writing most of this so sorry if the writing isn't that great. any way i would love to know your opinion on the situation. 

XOXOX 

PRETTY DAISY GIRL